As an English Rose, I don’t celebrate thanksgiving, but recently I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the things and people that I’m grateful for. I’ve been having a pretty sketchy patch of late, more emotionally than physically and it’s become apparent to me how many people I have who love and support me, in varying different ways. I am one lucky girl.
At work, my colleagues are pretty unthinking in general, but they have kind of accepted my slowness and creakiness as just me, and slow down to walk alongside without thinking – something I forget about until I go elsewhere with other people who don’t. Two of them are brilliant however – our office is up a flight of stairs that I really struggle with, and whenever they go down they always check if I need anything like printing or water. They help me with the fog in a really nice way that never makes me feel patronised when I lose my train of thought, and sometimes will help me untangle things by just talking through a problem with me. One has become an expert in translating the hand gestures and descriptions of words that I’ve lost, and the other has become my biggest cheerleader for making sure that I don’t overdo it – at a recent meeting about my reduction of hours at work, she said that she would much rather have me at work 4 days and well than 5 and ill, and that SHE would take matters further if they tried to make me go back full time. I am lucky to have two such lovely people looking out for me in the pile of crap that comes with my work – and it is so nice to have such shiny gems of people in amongst the darkness that it brings sometimes.
I’ve also recently been looked after in much more physical ways by another work person – not my usual work but a thing I do on the side once a year. I’d overdone it massively and he helped me by lifting me up rather than me having to try and clamber into and out of the van, and by hiding this from my other co-workers, knowing how much it would hurt my pride if they knew what a state I was in. I felt terribly vulnerable and afraid, and he was a gent and a star. He made doing something I love possible, where otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to. The idea of not doing this thing had had me in floods of tears the previous week, so he helped me not give in to the creaks, and I am eternally grateful for his help – and the discreet, non-patronising easy way it came.
I’m very thankful as well to live in the town where I do – it is a beautiful place with fabulous architecture, friendly people and really helpful local businesses and tradesmen. Whenever I go away and come back I am reminded how lovely it is – and when I come back from London for example I am grateful for the slower tempo accompanied by the arty, eccentric accepting vibe, the clean air and the astonishing views from it’s many hills.
I’m grateful for my family’s health, and the fabulous work that our NHS does. It gets a bit of a bashing sometimes, but without it, my mum would be dead, my dad and sister would be in constant agony with prolapsed discs, my grandma’s broken hips would have been prohibitively expensive and I would not have had access to the lovely team of specialists that I have been to see. My physio in particular has been inspirational and life-changingly helpful, and without the NHS I would never have seen her. I also am thankful for the men and women campaigning to keep the duty of care clause in that is currently going through the house of lords – my fingers and toes are crossed that we can amend Lansley’s plans to stealth privatise my beloved NHS. At this point in time I wouldn’t get private health insurance, so without them I’d be screwed.
I’m thankful for my two furry companions, who curl up with me when I am in pain and who never fail to make me feel better when I feel sad. I’m grateful for the kids, and the joy that they bring to my life – I’m not sure that I could have had any of my own and I am loving watching them mature and grow into young adults from the little blonde angels (at least visually!) that they used to be. I am thankful for the internet, the support and the friendships that it has bought me: people who I think of as my closest friends live in different countries and at the other end of my own. People I would never have met and people who have offered me comfort and support at various times in my life, in ways that would have been impossible in person sometimes.
But above all, I’m beyond grateful for my husband – I can’t even put into words how understanding, caring, loving and forgiving that man is. We didn’t actually say in sickness and in health in our marriage vows – but blimey, did he mean it. He supports me in everything – we are a team, and my reduced capacity to do the physical stuff hasn’t made a blind bit of difference to him. In fact – I think often I’m the only one who notices, let alone cares. I am incredibly lucky to have such a rock of a man by my side – my best friend, partner in crime and teammate. Whatever I did to get blessed with him, it must have been something pretty amazing!
