Grace in Small Things: 122 of 365

1. Steam trains!



2. Seeing my daad so excited



3. Having a house full of family



4. chocolate coated flapjacks



5. The smell of my family – sort of washing powdery and distinct to how our house smells.

Grace in Small Things: 121 of 365

1. Giggling at Knight and Day’s silliness



2. Getting sweet hearted at the ice cream counter at the cinema



3. Having a lie in



4. finishing a samurai Sudoku



5. snuggling up with Lottie in bed in the morning, rubbing noses and gossiping like girlies

Grace in Small Things: 120 of 365

1. Hanging our new big mirror in the living room



2. Kids and Dave offering me bits of their cake and coffee



3. Bertieface snuggling on sofa with everyone



4. Mozz’s tiger stripes



5. WW Denise checking up on me



6. Discovering when the awful finally happened and my big toenail fell off, that there had been another one lurking underneath!

Grace in Small Things: 119 of 365

1. Juliette being nice



2. My whole day being nicer than expected



3. The kids being lovely



4. Delicious wine and chicken



5. Driving for 2hours without breaky badly, and crossing the petrol forecourt at speed!

Grace in Small Things: 118 of 365

1. Playing Articulate with the kids, Penny, Jon and Lou and no one minding the kids were there



2. Reading my Pratchett book



3. Giggling a lot at some of the clues for Articulate – “no she went on her own” – JAMAICA!



4. Getting Oli’s school shoes first pair he tried on



5. Oli’s appreciative slurping of coffee and poached egg muffin

Grace in Small Things: 117 of 365

1. Bertie snuggling under my arm on the sofa



2. Taking the kids to see the Ducklings in the Barracks



3. Lottie looking and being so pretty



4. Delicious ice cream and coffee beans



5. Enjoying the wickedness of knowing where the kids were whilst Pam didn’t.

Grace in Small Things: 116 of 365

1. Bertie snuggles all spooned up under the duvet with me in the morning



2. Curling up on the sofa in our nely lovely living room in many jumpers all cosy



3. Seeing both my boys (Mozz and Bertie) sat on the sofa opposite me in similar sprawls



4. Walking home in the sunshine - my walk is so pretty



5. Playing "guess the Pratchett book from the quote" via MSN without any books present!

Grace in Small Things: 115 of 365

1. Sitting outside starbucks with the sun warm on my face, a vanilla latte in hand. Bliss.



2. Driving our car with the top down in the sunshine



3. Feeling like a normal person, rather than my Fibro, just for one day



4. Hanging up our pictures and getting a bit straight



5. Sharing our award winning fireworks with Mozz

Grace in Small Things: 114 of 365

1. Our amazingness with teamwork. Seriously. We're awesome when we work together.



2. Our pretty newly painted living room - an us room!



3. Our pretty newly installed picture rail that looks like it's always been there



4. Our new and excessive lights - with Mozz's head in them like a swimming hat!!



5. Eating toasted fruit bread with butter

Grace in Small Things: 113 of 365

1. having a blue fromt room, rather than a white smudgey one with a handprint on the ceiling. Our ceilings are 14ft high - how DID it get there?!!



2. Unexpectedly seeing my mum and dad, and mum being so pretty!



3. Being Team Mozz and rocking. We whip through DIY like no one's business when we're focussed



4. Getting what we actualy wanted in Homebase - first time!



5. Being in a sandwich between my two boys - Mozz spooned up behind me and Bertie curled up purring in front!

Grace in Small Things: 112 of 365

1. Being fed chocolate mini rolls and cafietere coffee by the careers department. I love meetings with them!



2. Eating Party rings in our inter team meeting where nothing productive ever happens



3. Being naughty with Mozz



4. Bertie's whiskery face eating treats from my hand whilst purring



5. Getting the little kick I get when I'm actually good with WW and not mental!

Grace in Small Things: 111 of 365

1. Wearing awesome shoes and feeling tall, long legged and sexy



2. Esme snuggles as I was trying to work



3. Getting an unexpected afternoon at home



4. Chatty little BT man making me feel like our internet will be fixed at some point



5. Mozz cuddles standing on the step, smelling his soft warm skin on the side of his neck.... mmmm :o)

Grace in Small Things: 110 of 365

1. Neil being back at work and sharing his brilliant holiday pics



2. Mozz reading me comedy catalogs in bes



3. Mozz kissing me in the way that makes me go all funny



4. Getting another surprise email from another lovely WW lady



5. Sleeping in till 8am

Grace in Small Things: 109 of 365

1. Even more Shooting Stars - this time live and on the right night!



2. Booking our anniversary holiday to Dublin, Eee!



3. Looking at the Spa webpage for centreparks, oooh...



4. Watching lots of delicious cakes



5. Being woken up by Bertie's damp nose on my nose!

Grace in Small Things: 108 of 365

1. Butternut squash and red pepper risotto - Mmm



2. Sherlock - finally watching the last episode



3. Writing



4. Watching more Shooting Stars



5. Esme lovin' and demanding cheesecake!

Grace in Small Things: 107 of 365

1. Everyone saying how lovely our cheesecake was - and it vanishing so fast



2. Haveing a nice chat with Mum and the Twins



3. Eating lovely food



4. Lovely company at Auntie Lindas



5. Watching Shooting Stars in bed with Mozz

Grace in Small Things: 106 of 365

1. Nice time going round the Monkeh and Jonathan’s house for dinner



2. Walking arm in arm with Mozz in the rain under our big umbrella



3. The little internet man coming to fix our internet by climbing a pole



4. My wicked cheesecake



5. Looking for a holiday with Mozz

Grace in Small Things: 105 of 365

1. Snuggling on the sofa with Mozz



2. Receiving an email from WW Katie, completely out of the blue!



3. Esme snuggles on the sofa whilst looking at holidays on the internet



4. Having my tea cooked for me and not having to do any of it at all



5. Helping a man called Hamish. I mean, who knew people were really called that?!!

Grace in Small Things: 104 of 365

1. Watching a whole program of the cutest sea otters on the telly. They look so cute, and also just like my dad in the sea :o)



2. Going to the cinema to see the A Team with the kids – pure escapist ridiculous cheese.



3. Ben and Jerries. Yum.



4. Meeting/gossipfest with Saffron



5. Berties little tongue that sticks out when he is tired!

Grace in Small Things: 103 of 365

1. Watching NCIS with the kids



2. Eating tea with the kids and them being nice



3. Soothing hot chocolate



4. Esme snuggles whilst trying to work



5. Bertie snuggles whilst trying to work

Grace in Small Things: 102 of 365

1. Nice warm bath with wine and my iPod



2. Cinnamon on top of my Latte



3. Having a bit of quiet time to myself on my own



4. Discussing Cheesecake with Shel



5. Singing, loudly, in the bath. I’d forgotten, kind of, I could sing like that...

Grace in Small Things: 101 of 365

1. Speaking to Mark on MSN



2. Looking at lovely spa treatments and dreaming...



3. Frozen chocolate mousse



4. Nice phonecall with mum



5. Being grateful all over again for nice people

Grace in Small Things: 100 of 365

100. Wow. That seems an awful lot!

1. Baklava – sticky sweet rosy goodness.



2. Seeing lovely Guy and Chris and Emma and Helen and Rich.



3. Having Mozz paint my toes for me. I’m so lucky.



4. Being invited places



5. Being able to drive through London without totally and utterly losing the plot and freaking out with stress. Another demon semi conquered…

Grace in Small Things: 99 of 365

1. Nice chat with the man in the post office



2. Having the warm fuzzies from sending my Twin biscuits and jaffa cakes in the post



3. All of Oli’s clothes now smell ok again



4. Bertie laying on me and Ols on the sofa, flirting like a terrible flirt cat



5. My lovely honeymoon jamas. Make me smile every time I put them on.

Grace in Small Things: 98 of 365

1. Having Pulp’s common people in my ears on the way to work – what else could I do?



2. Walking to work at speed and not arriving in pain



3. Having a really lovely lunch catch up with cake and coffee in Hilliers with Liz – and getting up the courage to ask if she’d like a girly night out sometime with cocktails and nice social things – and her saying yes!



4. Nice gossipy catch up with Saffron



5. Marvellous cocktails with my sister and Mozz in the best cocktail bar ever whilst wearing my going away pirate frock



6. Having much better service than I ever expected in DimT whilst eating yummy pork buns and dim sum with Mozz…



7. Singing, loudly, in the bath with a rose spritzer, a mountains of bubbles and my iPod in the BEST mood in a very long while



8. Watching tiny ducklings float around the pond in the Barracks at midnight…

Today was brilliant.

Grace in Small Things: 97 of 365

1. Esme alternately snoozing and purring on my lap as I worked



2. Old Ibiza uncovered tracks on the radio as I got in the car



3. Speaking to Dave Parker on the phone after I managed to totally break their system, oops…



4. Chatting to my sister in Sainsburys car park about skincare and existential crises



5. Taking a particularly cute picture of Esme with her new kipper toy

Grace in Small Things: 96 of 365

1. Finding my bits of paper!



2. Fixing the laptop so I can sign into MSN again – ha! It will not triumph!



3. Exciting prospect of bits of software that actually do things



4. Esmesnuggles on the sofa



5. Walking to work with Rooster in my ears and arriving at work feeling smiley for once

Grace in Small Things: 95 of 365

1. Walking home to Clubbed to Death by Rob D - reminded me of walking between tube stations coming home from university...



2. At a normal speed!!!



3. Slight excitement at a new project at work and possible future things...



4. Organising to have Lunch with Liz on Friday



5. Esmecat Lovin' me, and settling sat on top of my arm as I sit on the couch trying to type

Grace in Small Things: 94 of 365

1. Feeling awesome in skinny jeans and high heels - my legs go on FOREVER.



2. Pusscats nestling into my bosom...



3. Crazing chasing cats leaping about and making me laugh



4. Rasberries and merangues



5. The moment when our internet came back after being broken!

Grace in Small Things: 93 of 365

1. Belgian chocolates - including a lovely pink marzipan strawberry complete with a tiny little green plastic stalk in the top



2. Lunch with JP and Faith - nice people and nice to see someone!



3. Finding warm brownines at the bottom of my chocolate brownie sundae



4. Making love to Mozz in the afternoon...



5. Breakfast and coffee with Lottie

Grace in Small Things: 92 of 365

1. Seeing my Mum and Dad



2. Watching St Trinians with a glass of wine



3. Having a litte moment or five of silence on my own curled up on the sofa with the paper



4. Watching the cats with their new kipper toy that they seem to love - much headbutting and dribbling and attacking of it!



5. Getting a new (replacement) sunny looking bag for life from tescos

Grace in Small Things: 92 of 365

1. Seeing the pusscats again :o) Prrrrrrrrr...



2. Our own bed with clean bedding



3. Bad jokes by text from my Dad



4. Sending repeated naughty "are we there yet?!" texts to Dave whilst he was driving



5. Having my lovely Mozz, always.

Grace in Small Things: 91 of 365

1. Warming up in the café



2. Blowing Raspberries on Oli's warm tummy



3. Lottie's mental made up songs



4. Playing "Extreme Boxes" and pop up pirate with Lottie whilst the others watched the footie



5. Text from Lou saying that Bertie is "less sturdy" now than earlier in the week!

Grace in Small Things: 90 of 365

1. Delicious pudding



2. Nice wine making things go away



3. Nice lady in Lush showing me things



4. Driving in the sunshine with the top down, headscarf on and sunglasses in 50's starlet style



5. Thinking that it won't be long now till I'm back with Bertieface and Esmecat

Grace in Small Things: 89 of 365

I'm hoping this is to follow. I seem to have lost my bit of paper. I'm all a bit upset about it. I'm sure it will turn up.

[edit - whoop! I found it on my desk :o) ]

1. Napping all afternoon



2. Lovely coffee and cake



3. Boiled egg, and fondant fancies



4. Knowing Monkeh and Belle are with the furballs, so they aren't lonely any more



5. Handsome twinkly Mozz's sexy arse!

Grace in Small Things: 88 of 365

1. Ferry - cross the Mersey!



2. Seeing where Fred's weather map used to be!



3. Text from Fi



4. Knowing the kids don't mind my slowness



5. The moment where I realised tha being left behind = no squawking 4 year old for the day

Grace in Small Things: 87 of 365

1. Having a Mozz who loves me



2. Lovely Lottie trying to make it better



3. Fudge. Sugary lovely soft sweet fudge.



4. Sherlock Holmes



5. Realising how lucky I am that most people I see day to day are nicer than I realised

Grace in Small Things: 86 of 365

1. Getting weeds out of Dave's mum's drive so that it's all clear and tidy for her



2. Delicious Chinese - especially my chicken chow mien



3. Lovely conversation with Lottie where she suddenly realised, 10 months in, that technically I'm her step mother. But she says she loves me too much to call me a step mother, I'm just me. I felt all puffed up and so full of happiness I could have burst.



4. Tikka's ears all excited when I played with her with her ball



5. Teamwork with the kids - a nice feeling

Grace in Small Things: 85 of 365

1. Garrys pictures from his campus in Skye - so pretty



2. Meeting the man from Finance who appears to have a brain in his head, the ability to do forward thinking and a desire for change



3. Finishing an email about unicode I've been putting off for weeks



4. Sorting out UHI's UCAS problem



5. Ticking things off of lists

Grace in Small Things: 84 of 365

1. Coming home to a big purry welcome from the cats



2. Ginger biscuits coated in dark chocolate, sat on a bench on the platform at Birmingham International Station with Jeanette in the sunshine



3. Coming home to a Mozz to snuggle



4. Packing done with no tears!



5. Sitting on a couch in the Hilton, cross legged in my long stripy socks learning SRL syntax from David and Garry. I felt clever and tired and comfortable and happy and content.

Grace in Small Things: 83 of 365

1. Being told I was the most beautiful woman in the room, by someone other than Dave.



2. Twice :o)



3. Seeing Dave P and Gary and Garry and other nice people that I like and think I'm clever, all in one place



4. Winning at Roulette. In my dreams, I have a plan...



5. Having a bath in a bath where my toes fitted under the water without getting into a contortionists act



6. Watching Dave P try and become one of us by assuming a pseudonym - Drake Silver - and claiming to be our DBA all night rather than a consultant :)

Grace in Small Things: 82 of 365

1. Frozen yoghurt



2. Clean bedding



3. Butternut squash



4. Finally deploying smart client at work



5. Drawing a smiley face in Biro on Mozz's bum whilst he wasn't really paying attention, and giggling to myself silently as he never worked out what I'd done...

Grace in Small Things: 81 of 365

1. Sticky sausages. Yum.



2. The soft, sticky marshmallow in the centre of a teacake...



3. The pleasure on Ben's face when I gave him his wedding card - I think he likes to be thought of more than he lets on



4. That I love Ols enough to get so very upset on his behalf



5. Esme doing her comedy laptop head butting and mouse chasing

Grace in Bigger Things

I have been rather slack at updating this online, but my little note pad is up to date, I shall keep updating when I can till I’m back to where I’m supposed to be!

I have been off from the land of t’internet at a conference, and then at Dave’s mum’s. The conference went really well, I had a nice time seeing lots of people, being thought of as intelligent and physically not doing too bad either. I even managed some wine without feeling sick as I’d managed to hold off a bit on some of the tablets – hurrah!

The trip up to Dave’s mums, however, was less of a psychological success.

On numerous occasions I got left behind places and generally the fact that I’m not up to yomping about places was treated as if I was doing it on purpose to be difficult or awkward. No allowances were made for my creakiness, and this then caused tension because Dave then got cross because his brother and wife were making his wife feel like crap because she couldn’t keep up with an over energetic 4 year old. Or yomp at pace. Or get places as fast in the morning. Or stay up as late. I then felt bad that I was causing tension between them all and urgh. What a mess. I had felt all a bit pumped up about my success at the conference and my body’s ability to stick with it, and then to have this made me feel like I’d been run over by a steam roller. All my newly acquired self confidence vanished into dust, and I felt worse than I had done about my frustrating body than in a long time.

But, in light of this little trip, I am newly appreciative of all the people who do love me enough to slow down and make allowances. Like Dave, and the kids, who must temper much more of what they do with me and the speed that they do it at much more than I had kind of recognised. My work colleagues all walk at my pace when with me, and offer to get things from downstairs when I’m up in the office. My family do little bits and bobs like bring food when they come round for tea to help out, and on occasion my mum has helped me do cleaning and things.

I’m trying to think of this whole experience in a positive light – I’ve suddenly realised how many people actually do support me. There was a Chronic Babe blog carnival recently that focussed on who was in your “team” and I felt sad and lonely, and unable to join in, because it felt like my team only included Dave, Mum and Dad. But that’s not true at all. There are the kids, some of my work colleagues, the cats, Magic Janet the cleaner, Belle and Penny, my sisters’ friends who look in on me sometimes and after the cats when we’re away. My sister and her boyfriend are kind of on the edges but supportive when they can be as their lives are so mental themselves! There are the chronic babes, my WW ladies and my GP. My neighbours would help more if I could bring myself to ask (but I can’t – that’s my problem though!) and I have a wide network of friends that though I don’t see in person, do still think of me. So I guess this whole experience has been a learning one – I was less grateful than I thought, and more closed to the people who help me than I had thought. I am newly thankful, and will try to take time over the next week or so to tell these people how much I appreciate them. Because I really do.